I've been feeling a bit lost this week. Monday was my last class at University of Phoenix. Once my grade posts I can apply for my diploma. Yeah?! I know I am supposed to be excited but really I'm feeling kind of lost. I sat down the other night and looked at a magazine then I had a nice dinner with my kids. The entire time I kept feeling this nagging, like I should be reading, or taking a test or attending class online. I'm sure I'll soon adjust to my free time but for the moment you may see me a lot on Facebook. I seem unable to pry my computer from my lap.
I'm also feeling excitement and the fear of the unknown as I now look for a new job. While my current job has got me through school with lots of flexibility, it wont be enough to pay back my student loans.
I'm also quite apprehensive about letting my daughter grow up. I know I don't really have a choice in the matter but it is still proving to be quite difficult. I envied my sister the other day when her biggest child stress was her two year old cutting her own hair. Aaaaagh, the easy days. My fears have been compounded because my gorgeous C cup daughter seems to have fallen in love. The signs of this newfound love are everywhere. She's spending more time doing her hair, spending hours with her cell phone pressed to her ear with no real conversation going on and there is the dirty jacket of his she's constantly wearing.
I'm quite proud of myself. I've resisted the temptation to call in sick to work and follow my daughter everywhere and have just resorted to compulsive calling and texting her. I just know how easy it is to see only a nice pair of legs on a bike and overlook a million red flags. (Okay the nice legs on a bike part would be my downfall, but I'm sure she has her own blinders.)
So I guess I'll do the only thing I can do. Pour myself a glass of wine, lube my chain and go attempt to race my bike tomorrow. . .